More Greene Fields Forever
A/N: This is a third re-write of this story, I just keep getting ideas and want to embellish on and improve it. Every time I see the episodes On the Beach & The letter, I have to re do my story. This is the hardest episode for me to watch, but also my favorite, if that makes sense I love shows that make me cry, because I'm not good at letting my feelings out.
DISCLAIMER: If I owned it I sure as heck would not be living in HUD housing and, I'd have Ben & Jerry's ice cream every day. BUT, I do not own them, they are Michael Chrighten's, and so on. This is season 8, I think. I did copy Corday's letter and paste it other wise it's my own spin on things. This is what I think happened and wasn't shown, and also what I think could have been added to the episode. ~*~
Greene Fields Forever. 2
John: There was great havoc in the ER today, the computers were down (loading new software). Frank as usual was in a God-awful mood, so what else is new. Gregg was whining about his match papers because he'd gotten suck here instead of somewhere else. Toby (a patient) was accusing Susan of stealing his artificial leg, I laughed but that was the last time today I would smile at all, because that is when I saw the fax from Corday. I sat on the admit desk and read it aloud.
(Copy of Mark's letter) Dear ER Gang, So here I am, out on the beach at 5:30 in the evening. Elizabeth is drinking juice, but I'm all about the mai Thai. The sun is going down, Rachel is dipping Ella's toes in the ocean as they head off on their quest for the perfect seashell. Weirdly enough, I find myself thinking, you know what would make this moment complete? Some jogger dropping to the sand, short of breath, so I can sweep in with a piece of bamboo to perform a nice, clean intabation, fix the guy up, and send him off with a good, simple dispo. Which I guess is my way of saying I miss you all and that dingy place. Lots of times I thought I should have chosen a different career or go into private practice, something easier, less grinding, more lucrative, but since I've been gone, I realize that outside of doing what I'm doing right now, sitting on this beach with my family, staying at County all those years, doing what we do on a daily basis was the best choice I ever made. I know what you're thinking, but trust me, it's not hard to appreciate once it's over. As much as a part of me would like to believe that the ER can't go on with out me, the smarter part realizes that you are an incredible group of doctors and nurses who approach every day with such skill, compassion and thoroughness, that when it comes to patient care, I know by absence will hardly be felt. In order to leave, I had to go the way I did, but I wouldn't want any of you to think that I didn't value each of you and the years we worked together, or that I didn't have things of a more personal nature to say. Most of you, I think, have an idea of what those things might be without me writing them down, but still . Ella is laughing and waving for me. Rachel found her shell. Mark . "Then, from Corday:"
Mark died this morning at 6:04 a.m. The sun was rising, his favorite time of day. I sent this on so that you might know he was thinking of you all and that he appreciated knowing you would remember him well. Elizabeth
There was no way I could hide the breaking of my voice or the tear that escaped my eye. We all knew this was coming yet it is still shocking, and painful. A great hush fell over the whole ER staff. I needed to be by myself for a while. I hastily handed the letter to Frank and told him to post it on the bulletin board.
I was in a hurry and I was pissed off by the listlessness of the people hanging around the admit desk. I wondered what the crowd was reading on the bulletin board. So I walked over, they gave me a sad look and backed off so I could see what was there. Wow, Mark's dead? I looked over my shoulder, to see the folks still acting mope-ish, and now I knew why. The real me felt like yelling at them, and telling them to get back to work. But the better man in me did not do so. I simply headed for the stair well, as I was going to go to get a cup of coffee. I was walking up the stairs too fast and not thinking about it and because of that the tip of my shoe caught on one of the steps, and I fell. Not far, just came down hard on both shins. It hurt like hell, so I cursed loudly and just sat there on the step for a moment. My face was soaked with moisture, which the macho part of me insisted was sweat. But the realist in me knew they were tears. So, since I was all alone in the stairwell where no one else could see, I let the tears come. I punched the concrete wall, angry with myself for crying like a girl.
I had just come back from lunch, and saw the tears and heard the muffled sobs. Abby nodded towards the bulletin board so I went over and read the paper up on it. I questioned why it was posted for everyone to see, and Abby replied that she figured it was what Lizzie and Mark wanted. I hurried to an empty room threw my crutch to the ground, and wept. Later, Susan and Abby invited me to go out with them to have a drink. I said no quickly, worried that they might not take the fact that Sandy and I were dating. Sandy is a woman also. But that evening after work after much encouragement from Sandy, we did join the others to say out good byes to Mark.